I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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