I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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