airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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