Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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