Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
