My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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