Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
