Yo dont text me then not text me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
