Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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