Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
