Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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