normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
