I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
