I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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