youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
