my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
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