i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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