you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
