You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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