hell yes lets make some ravioli
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
