I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
