the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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