so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize