dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
