i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
