he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
