I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
