I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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