the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
