i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
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Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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