I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
