i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I died a long time ago.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
only you would photoshop your dick
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
