he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just forgot I was standing up.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
