only if we run a train.
done.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
