literally had 100 drinks last night.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
