dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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