the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
