at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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