Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
