just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The uberlube is also flammable
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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