Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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