Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
