it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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