Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
