Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
