We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
