and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
