remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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