and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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