somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
