You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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