maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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