do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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