I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize