that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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