That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
