i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just high enough for therapy.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
