she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
