break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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