Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
