I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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