people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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