Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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home. puking in laundry basket.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
