oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
