He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
