Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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