The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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