u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
